Prescribed
by RussianFireworks
Summary: It was an accident.


**Prescribed.**

* * *

><p>"Aki."<p>

Shinjiro lightly tapped at his cheekbones with the fingers on his left hand.

"Hey, Aki."

A couple more taps and he finally saw his eyes twitch.

Despite the movement, he felt himself give an inward sigh of relief.

"Come on now, I put it under your tongue this time just like you yelled at me for last time." Shinjiro glared at the other revival bead he had accidentally crushed between his fingers in nervous agitation while waiting for a response from any of his senses.

Shinjiro watched as Akihiko's face winced a few times and while his eyes painfully forced themselves open; his consciousness quickly started coming back to his clouded grey pupils.

"Nnngh…" His groans were drowned out by Shinjiro's voice.

"Really now, you went charging fullspeed ahead, AGAIN, when you knew what kind of enemy they were." Shinjiro continued to mutter to himself, unaware that Akihiko had come to his senses.

"Even though_ I_ don't have any weaknesses that can knock _me _down I still have enough _common sense_ to—"

Akihiko ignored him and took a second to survey his surroundings; looking in a few different directions before finally succumbing to a sigh of irritated relief when he looked up at Shinjiro's deep scowl. That certainly wasn't the first thing he wanted to see glaring down at him at his eyes opening. Akihiko's hands moved to his own shirt noticing his sweater vest had been torn completely down the middle and was barely hanging onto his chest.

That was a surprise.

He noticed that his uniform ribbon was also nowhere to be found.

Another surprise.

The third surprise came after he barely managed to hold himself up.

"What… happened." He flatly asked, throwing a hand to his throbbing head. "And why…" His shoulders reflexively tensed when he realized he was, much less, sprawled out over Shinjiro. "…Why are your kneecaps so fucking hard?" He added, groaning. "Remind me to never pass out on _your_ legs ever again."

Shinjiro helped Akihiko off of him, carefully, as the two got to their feet; Akihiko shedding his torn up red vest and letting it fall to the floor.

"A souvenir for the shadows." He noted breathlessly as his head spun.

"You didn't _pass out _on _my _legs—" Shinjiro adjusted his hat. "I_ dragged_ your limp carcass _onto them_ to _support you_ while you _lost consciousness_." He pulled at the lapels on his jacket. "You ran off on your own and got your ass handed to you by those… asshole queen bitches -in the chairs." Shinjiro frowned at the sight of Akihiko's imbalance.

"You mean the "Divine Mothers"?" Akihiko rubbed at his temples slowly, trying to recall exactly when his head had hit the ground. He suddenly felt a chill go up his spine. Getting hit by a charged up bufudyne two times in a row was a guaranteed migraine for the next three days straight.

"Callin' them by their book name don't make'em any nicer." Shinjiro put a hand to his ear immediately cutting off anything Akihiko could say. "Oi, leader." He waited for a response, not bothering to allow Akihiko to interject anymore.

"Yes?" He heard Minato's soothing voice reverberate through his head. He could hear the faint sounds of Ken's lance hitting an enemy in the background. "What's your current conditions?"

"Aki's fine now; Got to 'em before the shadows finished him off." He threw a smirk to Akihiko who was finally standing fully upright again. "What next?"

"Well, if things are okay on your end, I was hoping we could all go up at least three more floors." Minato's calm voice continued to echo through his mind. "It would allow us to stay on schedule—Is senpai alright?"

"Fine with me." Shinjiro sighed contentedly. He was feeling great as it was. "I don't know about _this one_ though." His eyes darted to Akihiko who was cracking his knuckles with a grimace.

Akihiko immediately broke his concentration and hid his pained face.

"W-What are you even saying?!" His eyes widened. "I'm fine!—" He slapped a hand to his left ear. "Minato, I'm fine!" He was sure he spoke louder than he should have.

The two of them heard Minato's barely audible sigh as they exchanged looks with one another.

"That's fine." The two of them waited for a different command. "Ken and I are about a floor or two above you now, so make sure that at the very least, you stay together."

Shinjiro tried to hide his irritation but he couldn't stifle a long sigh. For some reason he knew that Minato struggled to say that.

"Alright. We'll be up there soon."

Without waiting for another response from their level headed leader, he instead turned his attention to Akihiko who was now sliding his gloves back on.

"Really?" Shinjiro cocked his hip. "You're going with the blade ones now?"

"Yeah, so?" Akihiko blinked as he adjusted the belts around his wrists, hearing the satisfying clicks.

"Ain't those the ones that make it hard to use your evoker?" Shinjiro mimicked a gun with his index and forefinger as he tapped the air around his head.

Akihiko examined his hands again.

"Not really." He huffed. "It's true that they're a little more awkward, yeah, but the damage they do is double than—"

"Unless your answer is anything other than "no", I won't be accepting it." Shinjiro seethed, glaring at the shadow he saw looming around the corner. He looked at Akihiko who was about to protest. "You'll be putting on different equipment."

"Shinji-"

"Do you really want me to have to shove ten more revival beads down your throat tonight?" He snapped, feeling the rest, and waning amount of them against his thigh. "Because at the rate you're going, it might have to be eleven or twelve."

Akihiko looked to the ground and tightened the grips around his wrists. He still felt the sour aftertaste of the last revival bead coating the roof of his mouth. And the last four.

"I'll be fine." His eyes locked onto Shinjiro's.

Shinjiro let out another harsh sigh and picked up his Colossus from the ground.

He knew he was just acting tough.

Nobody likes being forced back awake from unconsciousness five times and then ordered to go up three more floors.

Or four.

Or however fucking many Akihiko would insist to Minato he could climb despite his health.

"Damn thing." He huffed, heaving it over his shoulder. "Let's get going." He commanded; Akihiko at his heels instantly. "And stay behind me; direct orders from leader." He grinned, waiting for Akihiko's petulant scowl to follow.

The two of them darted off into the dark hallways together, weaving through the slower shadows that couldn't keep up during chase.

"Is it me or are there… more of them tonight…" Shinjiro wondered aloud as his eyes scanned for the stairs.

"I think so." Akihiko huffed. "There are only five more days until the next Full Moon Operation, after all. This does tend to make them more…restless." He added sourly.

The two of them continued on through the halls, feeling the chill of the dungeon surround them.

"I don't like this block." Shinjiro muttered.

"You're tellin' me." Akihiko sighed as they turned the first left corner they saw.

Shinjiro knew he was agreeing for different reasons.

There were so many twists and turns that he didn't want to admit he was feeling a bit lost.

Just how many hallways would keep appearing?

Shinjiro couldn't explain it but he felt a knot starting to form in his stomach.

The two continued on through the corridors, trying as hard as they could to avert their gazes from the larger looking shadows. Shinjiro could see Akihiko scowling to himself each time he pulled him by the collar onto the raised surfaces to hide; but with the staggering amount of supplies Shinjiro had with him, he wasn't willing to take any chances.

With Minato and Ken presumably only getting further away.

But worrying wasn't going to do any good.

Tartarus had always been a pain in his ass.

How was now any different?

After turning a corner they could have both sworn they saw three times before, Shinjiro stopped in his tracks to see Akihiko about a field's length behind him.

"Hold on a second, Shinji." Akihiko padded forward to a stop. "I think we've passed this place…" He took a second to catch his breath. "A few times, actually." He called.

Shinjiro put a hand to the back of his head in thought.

"You noticed, too?" He also let out a shaky breath. "I think …the mistake is that…we keep making a right here; and then… we… pass….. by…. th-"

Shinjiro's eyes widened as he saw an enormous shadow making its way towards Akihiko. He threw a frantic gesture to him signaling to get away-

Akihiko jumped to the side immediately out of earshot and pressed himself against the furthest wall.

The two listened in dead silence as the shadow's groans simmered down into a hiss, making a sharp turn and slithering off the opposite way.

Shinjiro felt his turtleneck sticking to his every part of his chest as he watched Akihiko relax against the wall into a deep exhale.

"L-Like I was saying—" Shinjiro adjusted his hat, speaking lower.

"I should've attacked that one." Akihiko aired out his shirt at the collar as he walked towards where Shinjiro stood.

He was met with an unhappy expression.

"Are you an idiot?" Shinjiro let go of his axe. "You saw the size of that one—I'm not just seeing things; they ARE getting bigger now." He stifled a sigh. "We need to hurry up and get off of this floor."

Akihiko felt himself bit his lip.

"What are you getting so worked up for?" He watched Shinjiro's eyes narrow as he moved for his axe. "It wasn't as big as you're making it out to be."

Shinjiro wanted to smack the ignorance off of Akihiko's face.

"Don't ignore me." His bottom teeth met the top of his mouth. "Stop wasting our time."

"Standing here having a debate about the size of something we need to kill isn't exactly _saving_ time."

Shinjiro spit to his left and watched the mark dissolve into the air. He rolled his shoulder a few times before moving his axe back over it and wordlessly turning to the left of the hallway this time.

More silence only reached the two as they travelled down the all too familiar paths.

"I'm telling you—we've been here too!" Akihiko called out much to Shinjiro's dismay.

He was just trying to get a grip directionally—

"No we haven't." He called. "Pay attention to the coloring on the walls here—It turns maroon when you first see it—these are all still—"

Akihiko didn't want to admit he was wrong as he picked up his own pace.

"Why don't we turn left up ahead—I heard a shadow on that side—"

"Alright—"

"So then—"

"If we hit another fork—"

Almost as if God himself had made Shinjiro his personal urinal,

"Speak of the devil." Shinjiro stopped in his tracks; his Colossus stopping against the floor a few seconds behind; as they were met with four new hallways with two divisions per each.

"You've got to be SHITTING me." Shinjiro slapped a hand to his forehead, trying with everything in his being not to fall to his ass in defeat as he glared at the shadows peeking out from the furthest wall. "Well we know which way NOT to go—" He began to turn to the first divider.

"What are you saying?!" Akihiko immediately interjected, pushing his fists in front of his own face defensively. "The more enemies there are, the higher chance they're guarding the stairs!" He snapped. "Have you really forgotten all of the things the shadows do?"

Shinjiro felt his blood pressure rising.

As if he had any gault to be lecturing him right now.

"I'm going to fight—"

"No you're not." Shinjiro thrust a hand out at him.

"Why the hell were you bitching about my equipment earlier if you knew DAMN WELL I wasn't even going to be using it?!" Akihiko winced away from him, pulling his gear tighter around his coiled wrists.

Shinjiro felt his teeth gritting again.

"Have YOU forgotten, Aki, that this block has only been packed full of those GOD_damned_ _chests_?" He spat. "We've seen four shadows harping on just ONE of them—I'm not wasting my time just to get to the end of the hall and see a dusty ass _CHEST _with nothing _useful_ in it-" He snarled.

"But—"

"MIGHT I REMIND YOU, one of those chests was what almost killed you just a little while ago?" He sent as hard of a glare as he could to Akihiko. "Do you _need_ to be reminded?" He added dryly.

"We've gotten more than enough useful tools from these tonight." Akihiko stirred in place, eager to step forward regardless of his protest. "So what if it's a chest? If that happens and I was wrong-we'll take the shit and leave!" Shinjiro saw him practically bouncing on his soles, half in agitation, half in spite. "I have a feeling we'd be running low on stuff anyhow-"

"FINE THEN—" Shinjiro's knuckled whitened as they gripped at his axe. "If YOU think it's so fucking important to grab some damn trinkets from god knows where; be my fucking guest." He spun on his heel opposite him. "I'm finding the stairs and getting the hell out of here before I can become the new scapegoat for—"

"Fine by me."

_Wait-_

Shinjiro heard the rush of Akihiko's shoes against the hard ground and saw a flash of white instantly pass his vision.

He shouldn't have given him permission.

"We don't have time for this—" Shinjiro sent a final glare to the hallway Akihiko disappeared down.

Shinjiro quickly turned to the first hallway; he was sure of it. He knew the stairs had to be there. He listened for sounds of victory from Akihiko; hearing the faint yells of his persona's commands. Shinjiro put a hand to his hair and watched it as the static danced off of his fingertips, making sure.

He took off into a sprint down the first hallway and nearly spit again when he came to a dead end.

His own wrongness was almost too much for him to handle.

"But—WHY?" He yelled to himself, again ready to just fall over. But something was stopping him-

It was when the voice in his ear nearly made him jump.

"Senpai?"

After listening to his heart perform a drum solo, he put a cool hand to his ear and swallowed as hard as he could before taking a breath in.

"…Yama…gishi?" He breathed.

"Is everything alright on your guys' end?"

"…Eh?"

"We're nearing the end of the dark hour—and from what I can tell, you and Sanada-senpai are still—"

"Ah, yeah, yeah, we're fine." Shinjiro lightly dismissed her as he grabbed his axe with his free hand and turned to face the hallways. "We split up for a second, though—" His words trailed off as his stomach dropped when he saw two shadows at his wake.

"Ah hell—they're small…And-" He slid his fingers over his evoker and drew out Castor. "Fatal End." He commanded coolly. His eyes narrowed when he noticed;

The shadows tried to escape.

The wave of Castor's reign mercilessly plummeted into them; and their screams resonated back through the corridor. Shinijro tugged weakly at his jacket, uneasy.

"Ow…" He winced as he felt his HP drain slightly from the recoil.

"Shinjiro-senpai?" He heard the worry in Fuuka's voice.

"Ah, mm, like I said, we're fine." He paused, tucking his evoker back away. "Just….. a little…" He heard the shadows frightened screeches moving through the aisles around him.

"They're…scared?"

Shinjiro felt the ground beneath him begin to waver.

"Shinjiro-senpai?" Fuuka tried again. "I think I just—"

"….They're scared."

* * *

><p><em>"This sucks."<em>

_"I'm tired."_

_"This is fucking BULLSHIT."_

_"How many times are we gonna see that ugly thing on the wall?"_

_"Can I just punch it?"_

_"You'll break your hands, idiot."_

_"WOULD YOU TWO JUST STOP ALREADY?!"_

_Shinjiro and Akihiko both felt their stomachs drop at the sight of Mitsuru's pained expression._

_"A-Ah…" Akihiko put his hands over his mouth._

_Shinjiro ran a hand through his hair and forced himself to find a really interesting spot on the ground._

_Mitsuru drew her knees closer to her chest and let out a defeated sigh._  
><em>It didn't suit her; seeing their normally determined and energetic leader closed in on herself like that.<em>

_Akihiko crawled forward a few inches on his palms. "Well…There's gotta be a way out somehow, right Mitsuru-san?" His neck craned._

_Shinjiro threw a glare at him._

_"Why do you always act like she has an answer to everything?" He snapped. "If you want my opinion, her dad's the one you ought to be askin'." He added, throwing a look to Mitsuru; trying to see her expression._

_"…We should just keep going." Mitsuru gave a reassuring look to Akihiko who was still pouting despite his words. "We must have just made a wrong turn somewhere." She adjusted her headband. "About six times." She uncharacteristically added._

_"Tch. If this guy hadn't insisted we fight that last one, we'dve been outta here already." Shinjiro sighed, uncrossing his legs and letting his hands move further back._

_"Hey, we won, didn't we?!" Akihiko shot up from where he sat. "Besides, it's not like Mr. Kirijo would let something happen to us."_

_"You're naive." Shinjiro retorted, crossing his arms and laying on them stiffly. _

_Mitsuru shot him a hurt look._

_"Come on, Kirijo." Shinjiro's hands fanned out at his sides. " Haven't you ever wondered why your dad doesn't get someone else to do this shit for him? Whys it gotta be you?" He shut his eyes with a sigh._

_"….You already know the answer to that." Mitsuru looked to the ground and back to her evoker that was also resting on the ground beside her._

_"Quit bullying her, Shinji." Akihiko smacked the side of his knee. Shinjiro thought for just a second about getting up from where he lie._

_"I get that, but…" Shinjiro's eyes drifted to his own evoker and then to Mitsuru's shoes. "Doesn't he know how precious you are?..." His words tapered off._

_Akihiko saw a faint amount of color wash over Mitsuru's face._

_"Wow, Shinji." His eyes narrowed. "Way to lay it on thick."_

_Shinjiro immediately tensed up and felt his own blood rush to his face, sitting up and crossing his legs._

_"I-I didn't mean it like—" He twisted his back around. "K-Kirijo—O-Oi—A-Ah"_

_Mitsuru put a hand to her mouth and covered her light laughter._

_"No, I know." She smiled, looking at her two friends. "Thank you."_

_Akihiko felt himself growing red this time as his eyes met with hers. Shinjiro let him have that one._

_"I meant that, well-If he were any smarter, he'd recruit other people from the middle school." Shinjiro scoffed feeling the weight of his metal pipe against the floor as he picked it up at his lap. "I mean, WE could do it…so…yknow, who's to say…"_

_"I understand your feelings, but that puts the entire operation at risk, on a grand scale." Mitsuru motioned for Akihiko and he scooted closer to her._

_"What about the Kirijo Group?" Shinjiro scratched the back of his head._

_"What about it?"_

_"Can't they, I dunno, hold some sort of audition?" Shinjiro continued to listen to the metal dragging on the ground. "Yknow where people come in and see if they can fight and stuff."_

_"No matter how you look at it…" Akihiko put a thumb to his mouth. "I don't think thats how it works."_

_Mitsuru nodded to herself, unaware of just how it was the Kirijo Group worked in that regard._

_"I have to agree."_

_"But, hey—" Akihiko chimed in, looping his arm around Shinjiro. "Don't you guys think we're more suited to the job?" He couldn't stifle his smile. Shinjiro sent a glare his way._

_"Just because you didn't outwardly refuse the second you were asked—"_

_"H-Hey. Nobody gets points for being stubborn." His pout deepened to which Mitsuru had to laugh again. Akihiko felt himself relax at the sound._

_"But really, is it okay for us to be sitting here like this?" Shinjiro wondered aloud as he studied the blackened blood splatters on his bat. "It feels like we're just waiting…on a minefield."_

_"Good point." Akihiko looked to Mitsuru. "This floor is like ice. Aren't your legs cold—You're in a skirt after all…" He motioned. "It isn't much, but I could give you this—" Akihiko hurriedly began to unbutton his white shirt._

_Mitsuru reflexively put a hand over her knees and let out a sigh._

_"If you guys are up for finding the exit again…I suppose it would be a better idea to leave here."_

_"I agree." Shinjiro sighed. "But…Are we really gonna find it?"_

_"D-Don't say that, Shinji." Akihiko let out a wry laugh, draping his shirt over Mitsuru's legs, giving her a small grin of welcome. "But hey, would it be so bad if we didn't?" He smirked, wiping his face with the bottom of his orange shirt._

_"…Hah?"_

_"That was pretty morbid, especially for you, Sanada-san…" Mitsuru whispered._

_"Yeah, Aki, what gives." Shinjiro smirked._

_"That chemistry test." Akihiko's face dampened. "Its tomorrow."_

_"Oh, shit." Shinjiro slowly put a hand to his forehead. "I-Is that gonna have all of that, that chemical bond shit on it?"_

_"It is." Mitsuru added. "It was all of chapter seven."_

_"ALL OF IT?!...Tch…." Shinjiro scowled, both hands covering his face. "Give me a break!"_

_"I still cant believe we're having the test this early." Akihiko frowned. "Its been, what, a week since we started the chapter? This guy's running us ragged."_

_"We've come to the tower every night since then!" Shinjiro's words were muffled in his palms. "Kirijo, you can't possibly tell me that even YOU are ready for this test?"_

_Mitsuru gave him a somber look._

_"Father and I spent a fair deal of time with the tutor this week due to the excessive amount of work in that—"_

_"OF COURSE." Shinjiro fell back to the ground in defeat, feeling a few reconciling rubs on the back from Akihiko. If they were going to fail, they were going to at least fail together._

_"Hey, Aki."_

_"Mm?"_

_"Tomorrow?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Lets ditch."_

_"Alright."_

_"What?!" Mitsuru practically screeched. "That's NOT an answer."_

_Akihiko threw a hand to his mouth, trying to hide his laughter. "Can't stop us, Mitsuru-san." He slapped Shinjiro's back a few more time as the two of them continued to laugh at their master plan. "Once this guy's decided—"_

_Mitsuru slowly put a hand to the ground._

_"S-SHUT UP."_

_Akihiko's smile faded instantly._

_"…M-Mitsuru-san?"_

_"O-Oi Kirijo we were only joking—"_

_Mitsuru frantically shook her head._

_"N-No—" She leaned forward trying not to move too much._

_"Over there, four of them-"_

_The two of them whirled around._

_"Four shadows!" Akihiko threw an arm in front of Mitsuru and got to his knees._

_"Quick hand me —"_

_"They aren't moving." Shinjiro breathed._

_"…Eh?"_

_"Why aren't they moving." Shinjiro stood up and took a few steps forward. The shadows slinked backwards at each step he took._

_"…What do you think, Mitsuru?" Akihiko whispered._

_Mitsuru felt her shoulders tense._

_"Perhaps…Even shadows get tired of pursuing us?...I should tell father—"_

_"Wait." Shinjiro breathed again, putting his calves to the ground cautiously from his kneeling position. He saw Akihiko do the same._

_The three of them suddenly felt uneasy._

_Mitsuru quickly leaned closer to the ground. "Wait-It's not-Did you feel that?"_

_Akihiko and Shinjiro exchanged looks._

_"I don't…think so—" Shinjiro was cut off by what felt like an earthquake. He immediately shot up from where he sat, extending a hand for Akihiko who helped himself up and put his hand out for Mitsuru._

_"W-What the hell?"_

_"The ground is—"_

_"Mitsuru!" The three of them heard Mr. Kirijo's voice echo through their ears._

_"F-Father, something is happening!"_

_"Arent you guys at an exit yet?" The three of them heard. "The dark hour is almost—"_

_"We know that now, pops, thanks." Shinjiro snapped. He saw Mitsuru gravitating closer to Akihiko who was staring at the unmoving shadows._

_"What are they waiting for…" He wondered aloud._

_"Guys we need to make a run for it." Shinjiro declared bodly, turning in the direction of where he thought was best to go._

_"Wait, we're going that way?" Akihiko sneered. "Didn't we just decide that was a dead end?" Akihiko sighed. "Mitsuru-san, can you see anything? The layout? Anything?" He tenderly prodded._

_Mitsuru's head lowered as she shook it slowly._

_"I-I can't…"_

_"Hey, Aki do you have any more of those soul drops?"_

_"If I DID, would we be in this situation right now?!"_

_"What's happening?!"_

_"What the fuck is going on?!_"

* * *

><p>"<em>They're….scared."<em>

Shinjiro tore his hand from his ear, and with every shred of energy in his soul, took off running back in the direction he came from.

The shaking was getting more violent with each step.

Panic shot through his temples.

_It's just like that time…_

Instinctively, he called out for his partner.

"AKI—"

All he heard was the shadow's terrified calls, mocking the air around him.

"OI—AKI—"

He wasn't in the first hallway

_If nothing has changed…_

He wasn't in the second hallway

Shinjiro felt it again.

_If nothing really has changed since then-_

That knot in his stomach.

"—AKIHIKO—"

His name only bounced off the walls, back into his pounding eardrums.

_That means-_

He fought past the pain he felt in his chest—As soon as he reached the clearing and felt himself being enveloped in the maroon surrounding the walls, he got his answer.

Something he thought he'd never be face to face with again.

A reaper.

Looming in the corner, his guns cocking brazenly; just waiting to shoot.

_Just like before._

And Akihiko was dead center of his aim.

_Just like before._

"AKI—" Shinjiro forced out; slapping a hand to his mouth.

_Wait, wait._

Maybe he wouldn't see him—Maybe he could get the upper hand—

He stood back for a second, watching Akihiko's movements. He was lasting a hell of a lot longer than he'd imagined he could; especially by himself. He was starting to think that maybe he could get out of there-

Just then he saw the smoke festering around the reaper's guns; he was going to shoot something else—

Something different.

And he knew _what _he was going to shoot.

The way the air chilled around them—there was no mistaking it

Akihiko would be down in an instant.

Shinjiro helplessly listened for the command; the way it sounded like words being choked from a child. He watched Akihiko feebly try to defend himself; throwing up the only protection he had; his arms. As he heard the hysterical shooting of the barrels as oceans of ice cascaded downwards onto Akihiko, watching his persona flickering out like static on a television.

He couldn't do it-

He couldn't just watch him take the attack—

He couldn't watch him fall like that—

Shinjiro felt his heel from underneath him try to push him forwards, but he knew it was smarter to just revive him after; he had to—he couldn't—

_You have to stop it somehow-_

It didn't make the screams any easier to listen to.

_You have to-_

Shinjiro threw his hands to his head as he curled inwardly on himself as he heard Akihiko give his last breath—Seconds after he knew had to make a break for him—

_The Reaper is turned away-_

_Now's your chance-_

_Go-_

He felt the weight of Colossus leave his side as he rushed to where Akihiko staggered in place-

Just as he thought he was clear—he met the glare of the Reaper.

_That face-_

Panic.

_That unforgiving face-_

Shinjiro thrust his hand into his pocket-

_We have to get out of here-_

He threw a hand to Akihiko's face as the other shakily grabbed at his evoker.

_Dammit-Dammit-_

He couldn't see-

_Revival bead—Revival-_

—_Here_

_Here it is-_

His eyes were getting blurry—

Why-

He felt the cold of Akihiko's face against his hands as he pushed the pill as far down into his throat as he could

_Hurry up-_

_Hurry up and swallow-_

_HURRY UP-_

He felt the overwhelming aura of the Reaper crawling down his spine as he heard him drawing his guns out once again-

Hovering over the two of them like a God on his throne-

_Come on, Akihiko—COME ON—_

Shinjiro saw a flicker of life come back to Akihiko's grey eyes.

He could hear him coughing madly, trying to inflate his lungs once more

"AKI—" Shinjiro thrust his evoker to his temple.

"S-Shinji—"

"CASTOR—"

Black smoke erupted from all around them; effectively hiding their figures.

They had seconds—

"Come on-" Shinjiro grabbed at his collar and dragged him up from the ground to his feet

Akihiko threw a hand to his head to try and stop the spinning.

"Agh—Shinji—Wai—"

"Castor, again!" Shinjiro demanded, as his persona began to flicker back into place, meeting with Akihiko's glazed eyes.

"Left—" Shinjiro thrust his hand to the side, his hair sticking to his face as sweat poured from all directions—"It's left of here—The exit—There's a portal-"

"Wh—" Akihiko harshly wiped at his mouth, struggling to stop the blood that was pouring out of it.

"You were right—I was wrong—" He choked, keeping his eyes locked ahead of him as he staggered back. "You're already weak—" Shinjiro gasped. "I'm going to stun him—and make a break for it—HURRY THE FUCK UP AND—"

"W-Wait Shinji where's your—"

The two were silenced by a deafening explosion from the barrel of the Reaper's gun.

They exchanged looks in a second

He was charging up again.

_Wait_

"Shinji you can't be serious?!—Stun him?!—Quick, we have to—"

_What kind of fucking attack is he—_

Shinjiro shoved Akihiko away from him

"AKI—GET AWAY—HE'S GOING TO-"

_YOU ASSHOLE_

_DON'T ATTACK HIM WITH THAT MOVE_

_ATTACK ME-_

Without another second to think, the same cascade of falling ice materialized out of the air around them; they were both going to get hit this time—

_SON OF A BITCH—_

"_AKI, MOVE -!-"_

* * *

><p><em>"W-What is that thing?"<em>

_"…A-Akihiko?!"_

_Akihiko felt Mitsuru cowering behind her and Shinjiro._

_"Are those—"_

_"What is it doing?"_

_"Is it attacking?!"_

_"We can't possibly—"_

_"EVERYBODY, RUN-!"_

* * *

><p>He knew he had a concussion.<p>

His eyes shot open. He scanned the smoke that covered the ground as it rose up around him.

_F-Fuck—_

_Is he gone?_

Shinjiro looked through half lidded eyes at the sky above him

No

He was still there

And he knew he was alive

And he wasn't okay with that

Shinjiro felt his fists tighten as he struggled to lift himself from the ground.

He just barely saw his evoker within his arms reach-

His eyes darted around to where he knew Akihiko was—

He should be-

"Ak—Aki—" He stammered, struggling to his knees. He threw his hand to his evoker, wordlessly summoning Castor once more with a blinding burst of light.

Shinjiro scrambled to his feet and pushed himself to where Akihiko was lying. He moved a shaking palm to his shoulders once more and turned him on his back, shoving a hand into his pockets.

"Come on—COME THE FUCK ON-" He shouted—Digging, grasping for another revival bead.

He was really starting to fucking hate them

Come on

COME ON

WHERE IS-WHERE—

I HAVE TO HAVE ONE LEFT-

Shinjiro felt the back of his neck burn

Castor had been hit—

His bloody fingers gripped at new pockets—

Different pockets-

He had to have another one-

He just had to-

He felt it-

His fingers—

Around it-

His vision clouded again as his hands found their way to Akihiko's face

And he threw his hand to his mouth and forced him to swallow it as he felt Castor take a second blow, instantly doubling over in pain over Akihiko-

"FUCK—" Shinjiro's hand spasmed and he dropped his evoker. He whirled around to meet the charged glare of the Reaper; satisfied with what he saw below him.

He waited seconds to see Akihiko's eyes light up once more

But they weren't

The seconds were taking too long

As he watched Castor finally flicker out and dissipate, he knew there was nothing else he could do

His eyes saw the charge of the guns once more

And he knew that was it

"_I wonder…"_

He looked over at Akihiko's unmoving face as he felt his own body succumb to the pain of his injuries

_It was getting darker-_

"If I should…..

…_. say my prayers…"_

"_**ARMEGEDDON!"**_

A light stronger than the one even the reaper had produced engulfed him.

The entire room, the entire world, for all he knew

Was light.

It was colorful.

It was strong.

And for some reason he knew without seeing,

that it wasn't made by the enemy.

He felt his breath stop as his eyes tried to make out the figure of their leader standing with his hands to the direction of where the Reaper was.

"Kid….." He breathed.

His attention was brought back to Akihiko.

"Akihiko…" He swallowed. "H-Hey, Minato!—"

Before he could register that the light in his world was dimming he felt himself being supported.

"Shinjiro-senpai—"His voice was harsh; in command. The stark opposite to what Shinjiro knew he currently was.

"I'm—I'm fine—" Shinjiro pushed himself off of his knee and tried to get to his feet, failing. Ken was hovering over Akihiko; searching for different gems and pills in his arsenal.

"Why—Why hasn't he—"

Shinjiro watched as Ken slid a revival bead into his mouth and pressed a hand to his chin, closing it gently.

Seconds later, he heard the same raspy coughs from before.

"Sanada-san!" Ken exhaled, dabbing at his mouth with a cloth. "You're—"

"Aki, why?..." Shinjiro could barely get the words to come out.

_Why didn't you wake up before?_

"Shinji, you're okay, too." Akihiko blinked harshly, meeting his eyes with confusion and pain.

Minato felt Shinjiro's weight decrease as he put his hand to his ear.

_Why didn't you move?..._

"Fuuka, we're alright." They heard him quietly addressing the rest of the team.

_I gave you a revival bead._

_I watched you swallow it._

_I made you swallow it  
><em>  
>"Come on, Sanada-san, use me for support—" Ken held his lance firmly on the ground with one hand, and tried his best to get Akihiko to stand.<p>

"Thanks, Amada." Akihiko shakily began to sit up feebly.

His eyes briefly met with Shinjiro's as he managed to get to one knee.

"…What's wrong, Shinji?"

_I know I did._

_I did._

"Shinji?...Hey, Shinji." Akihiko took hold of Ken's lance with one hand, trying to straighten himself. "Why are you looking at me like tha—"

Shinjiro's eyes widened with fear as he listened to the last syllable being cut from Akihiko's lips. His entire face went white in an instant. The first thing he lost control of was his shoulders.

"Senpai?!" Minato looked up from where Shinjiro lie.

"Sanada-san!" Ken stepped back reflexively, not knowing what was wrong.

Akihiko dropped back down to his knees without a word—the shaking only getting more apparent; Ken's lance echoing off the floors covering the initial scream his lungs let out.

It was then, Shinjiro knew.

His stomach tightened painfully as he thrust himself up from Minato's knees to his own.

His vision was blurring as he tried to stand completely, but he still forced his arm as far as it would go to reach his brother. He tried to make his legs do the same.

What he saw through his tunneling vision wasn't unlike what he had experienced at an earlier time in his life.

_That _was when he really knew.

Akihiko, writhing in pain on the floor, one hand clutching his head and the other weakly grabbing at his throat as his wrist uncontrollably spasmed.

Shinjiro knew there were tears streaming from his eyes even though Akihiko was far from crying out in sorrow.

It was pure fear dripping from his tear ducts and onto the cold ground below him.

"Aki—I—Just" Shinjiro scrambled to his side. "Y-You—Just—Stay calm-"

"Aragaki-san, what is going—" Minato grabbed Ken's arm and pulled him back from Akihiko. Ken shot him a horrified look, but understood.

Shinjiro grabbed at his wrists trying to pull them from his head.

All Akihiko could do was scream.

There was nothing Shinjiro could do to stop it.

He just kept screaming after every inhale.

He tried not to focus on that; but each time he felt Akihiko squirming underneath him was another moment of that reality.

"I know it hurts b-but—"

_No._

"You gotta focus on controlling your breathing—and—"

_I don't know._

_I don't know how it feels._

His frantic words weren't reaching him; Akihiko only continued to thrash worse, tearing his hands back from Shinjiro and clawing at his own skull to try to make the noise stop.

_Not for someone who is trying to suppress something that already came natural to them._

_I don't know how it feels._

_I don't know a damn thing._

* * *

><p>It was, the worst night.<p>

It was arguably the worst night of his life, save for a few other choice memories he didn't want to think of.

And at that time, he couldn't think of them.

All he could think of was the look on Akihiko's face when the suppressant started working.

And the sound of his scream.

That's something he knew he'd never forget no matter how hard he tried.

The sounds of everyone else bandaging their wounds and salvaging any broken equipment was the only thing carrying over in the lounge. Nobody could raise their voice.

Three members who witnessed what happened in the tower.

And five who witnessed what came out of the tower.

Yukari and Junpei had been wordlessly sitting at the bar helping each other patch up their hands from their new weapons, occasionally being helped by Mitsuru when Junpei would wrap something sloppily from fatigue.

Ken simply sat in the furthest corner next to the check-in counter, comforting and being comforted by Koromaru who kept his head low to the ground. Fuuka had joined him after sitting by herself for a while.

Mitsuru exchanged glances with everyone a few times before switching places with Minato who had been idly observing Shinjiro who had both ostracized and exiled himself to the furthest couch; across from where Akihiko lie.

Mitsuru's presence lingered behind him momentarily.

She stood there, simply looking at his back.

"It's not your fault, Aragaki." She would tell him each time she'd walk near him.

But Shinjiro didn't dare look up from his knees.

He couldn't.

He couldn't face anybody.

Mitsuru could only watch helplessly as he grew smaller.

"You cannot blame yourself for this." Mitsuru stood behind him for the sixth time that night; her arms crossed gently at her chest as her gaze fell upon Akihiko.

And for the sixth time, Shinjiro didn't budge.

"Aragaki…"

Mitsuru's eyes downcast at his stained red jacket.

"Aragaki, look at me."

"No."

The first word he had spoken since returning.

Mitsuru knew that despite the injuries; he was hurting more than anyone in the entire room. And she had absolutely no idea what to say to him-not a shred of an idea. She thought momentarily about sending a look back to Minato-Maybe his eyes could tell her something she didn't realize just yet.

Still, she found her gaze settling back to Akihiko who lie motionless beside them.

Quietly, and without much warning, Mitsuru took her place next to Shinjiro on the small one-person couch.

He immediately moved deeper into the side of it- his muscles tensing harder until he felt a soft, tender hand, resting on his shoulder. He relaxed at the touch but continued to press further away, accidentally making more room for her. Mitsuru could feel his tense body shaking under her hand.

"It's okay, Shinjiro." Mitsuru's breath was barely above a whisper. She continued to rub small circles into his shoulder.

"Of course it's my fault, Kirijo."

"I'm the one who shoved the pill down his throat. I'm the one who forced him to swallow it."

"You thought you were going to revive him—"

After that, Shinjiro fell silent again.

Mitsuru looked back at Akihiko for what felt like the thousandth time.

The two continued to sit in silence as Mitsuru tried her best to comfort Shinjiro with her presence.

She wasn't sure if what she was doing was helping, or angering him.

He would just continue to sit there; eyes locked on Akihiko, in deafening silence.

"Do you remember…"

Mitsuru felt her eyebrow hitch as her hand briefly stopped its rhythm on his back.

"When we saw the reaper for the first time."

"Ah…" She felt her back lean into the couch as a wave of cold nostalgia flooded her senses. "One doesn't forget that encounter." She managed to say it with a wry smile.

"It was just like before." He coldly recalled it through gritted teeth.

Mitsuru could hear the leather creasing underneath Shinjiro's white knuckles.

"As you say." Mitsuru breathed. "That facet of our journey still ceases to change."

"It was just like before…" He repeated, getting painfully lost in his own memory. Mitsuru moved her hand from his shoulder to his knee. She felt him tense at the movement, but eventually he relaxed.

"Just remember what hasn't changed."

Shinjiro listened to her footsteps get further away from him as his hands met his temples. He was unbelievably fatigued himself, but couldn't turn anything off even if he tried.

He knew he wouldn't have any trouble staying awake but knew he needed to calm himself down.

Shinjiro lifted himself from the couch, mustering all of the muscle contractions he could, walked to the kitchen. He felt a thousand eyes on him, but his eyes remained streamlined as he boiled water and let the coffee make itself silently.

"_Ken-ku- you sho- get-bed."_

"_Its rea-late and I- yo- exh-sted."_

"_Wait-Ju-i, tha-wro-here—"_

"_Oh-Ken, y- going?"_

"Mm, sle- w-."

"_Amada—Ca- me - you ne-an-thin'—"_

Shinjiro continued back to the couch, cup in hand, filtering just about any noise from his ears that wasn't Akihiko's breathing.

It all sounded like a foreign language to him.

"S—n—a is s—tr—"

Shinjiro pressed his fingers to his temples again.

"S—n—a is s—tr—"

It didn't seem like the pain would stop anytime soon.

"S—n—a is s—tr—"

He suddenly realized the presence of someone in front of him.

His eyes opened as he looked up at Ken, standing right next to the couch he was in.

"…Sorry, I—You were saying something…?"

Shinjiro didn't want to imagine the look he must have had on his face.

Ken's eyes shifted away from him as he looked past his shoes.

He had a familiar look on his face that was so very far away.

After about a minute of silence, Ken's hands loosened and he turned back to face Shinjiro.

"I said, Sanada-san is strong." He finally spoke, his eyes resting on the floor after saying it.

Shinjiro's lips parted a few times before he spoke; His eyes narrowing gently as he looked back to Akihiko.

"Are you comforting me?"

He had listened to Ken's footsteps fade away from his ears, but there was a moment of hesitation before doing so.

Would he ever ask Ken what he really wanted to say after that?

Probably not.

Not even if he really wanted to.

* * *

><p>Shinjiro watched Minato come back from behind the bar, lightly tossing the rest of the gauze and bandages to the table as he practically fell onto the couch. The rest of SEES had started to taper from the first floor.<p>

Shinjiro saw a sigh escape his lips.

"And—" Minato shuffled his weight to his knees. "Aragaki-senpai how are you?"

Shinjiro felt a familiar lump take its place in his throat. He wasn't sure how to answer that; or if he even expected him to. He was sure he made some sort of noise reflexively to answer, but his muscles still tensed when he saw Minato's unsatisfied gaze.

"Mitsuru-senpai is right, you know."

_Damn, so he HAD heard._

_Not surprised, he hears everything._

_He's ALWAYS listening._

"It was an accident." Minato ran a hand across his limp bangs.

He looked almost as bad as Akihiko but the difference was that he was awake.

"That….." Shinjiro swallowed before he could find the rest of the words.

Minato crossed and uncrossed his legs a few times as he waited for Shinjiro to speak.

He let out another sigh as his hand fidgeted with his bangs again.

"I'm not going to tell you how to feel." Minato looked at Shinjiro's whitened hands. "But I will ask you to consider something."

Shinjiro felt himself bite his lip.

"How do you think _he _feels?"

Minato gave a small nod in the direction of Akihiko.

Shinjiro looked up for the first time since Minato had sat down.

"…I…"

"Or, how about." Minato rolled his shoulders with a soft groan. "What do you think he'd rather wake up to?"

Shinjiro blinked somberly.

"Someone who is excruciatingly self-loathing an honest mistake he made in a desperate situation-" He sat up a bit straighter. "Or someone who is happier than he will ever understand, that he is awake."

Shinjiro felt his eyes burning as he hid them from sight again.

Minato knew there was an understanding and he sank back into the couch.

Shinjiro knew he was right.

He couldn't vocalize exactly what he wanted to say.

"…Before I do that…"

Minato could see the whites of his eyes again.

"I…I wanted to…" He took a sharp breath in." "I wanted to, first of all…"

"Thank me?" Minato had finally given up on his bangs.

"Of course…." Shinjiro's hands were white again as he clutched at his own knees. "If you hadn't been there at that second…Aki, or me wouldn't have been…"

Shinjiro lamented that thought harshly.

"We both would have been…"

Silence filled the room for a moment after.

"Really." Shinjiro swallowed all of the dry air in his throat. "You… saved my ass back there, kid."

His eyes moved to Minato, rather unsurprised to find him with his head lolling on his shoulder.

"…Ah, kid…?"

_Come on, kid, you're interrupting my embarrassingly heartfelt thanks, here._

His eyes snapped open and Shinjiro could swear he saw blood rush to his face.

_Ah, so you're embarrassed now. I guess we're even._

"…A-Ah….Mm…Don't mention it…" Minato sleepily rubbed at his eyes with both hands and took a sharp breath in. "You've been watching him intensely this whole time…how is Akihi—" He cut himself off as he threw an arm in front of his face to hide a yawn.

Shinjiro's gaze fell back to Akihiko's grey hair.

"Kirijo tells me he'll be fine." He leaned over and brushed his thumb over a tuft of his hair on his forehead. "But…"

His concern grew deeper when he didn't even see a wince from Akihiko at his touch.

"He would've been dead meat if you hadn't put on that lightshow earlier." He crackled his knuckles once before letting out another grateful sigh.

"Thank you."

"Again, d'men'ion it." Minato exhaled as he looked to Shinjiro through half-lidded eyes.

Shinjiro felt his body relax as he looked around the lounge.

"Oi, Iori." Shinjiro directed.

Junpei who was the only one still sitting at the bar, idly polishing his sword, jumped at the syllables. He still wasn't used to Shinjiro's diction.

"Would you help this guy up to his room already?" His thumb pointed to Minato whose head was once again struggling to stay off of his shoulder. "Just lookin' at him is making me more fucking tired." Shinjiro cracked a minuscule smile.

"Ahhhh, that's right." Junpei smirked. "Dude had to use that crazy powerful attack earlier." He scooted over to their leader and helped Minato's arm around his shoulders. "Don't worry, this sometimes happens after that." He smiled shuffling around a bit and being met with Minato's half open eyes.

"Wh-h're you—"

"Helping." Junpei answered his rhetorical question with a smile before turning his attention quickly back to Shinjiro. He felt his back slump a bit as Minato quickly drifted off.

"I wasn't worried." Shinjiro sighed. "He'd be fine even if the sun crashed into the earth." He studied Minato's form. "That guy's pretty incredible." He scoffed briefly, as his eyes looked at Aki's unconscious face. "This one, though…" He felt his face relax at the sight, however. "I fuckin' wonder about."

"He's pretty amazing too." Junpei nodded. "The whole school looks up to him after all—"

"Yeah well its pretty hard to look up to someone who'dve been buried ten feet underground thanks to-" Shinjiro's expression darkened and his eyes narrowed as he studied the sleeping man's bruises.

He snapped out of his fixation and shot a look back to Junpei.

"Tch…A-Anyway—" He stammered.

"I'm thinkin'….maybe he was just having an off night?" Junpei shrugged to himself. "I know I can barely hold my sword right when I'm thinkin' about something beforehand..." He sighed, the other clearly knowing he was talking about the girl with the sketchbook he had idly heard about. "Anyhow—" Junpei shuffled in place a bit, shifting his weight. "I, ah, hope Sanada senpai is alright after…" Junpei swallowed, effectively stopping himself from going further.

Shinjiro cocked an eyebrow in response to Junpei who he could tell for some reason thought he was offending him.

"..W-What was that, Minato?" He adjusted his footing. "Sanada senpai will be fine you say? Well I am glad _you_ say so!" Junpei laughed to himself as he was met with a passive look from Shinjiro and light snores from Minato.

"Ah…W-Well, I'm sure he's gonna be up and atom tomorrow morning." Junpei smiled wryly. "And really, Ar—Senpai." He paused. "He'll understand."

With that closing remark, Junpei hoisted Minato's arm around his own shoulders and began walking up the first set of stairs.

"Nighty night." He called, holding Minato's limp hand and waving goodbye with it to Shinjiro.

Shinjiro couldn't not crack a small smile at that.

What a stupid kid.

* * *

><p>As the clock had struck three, it was then that he realized he was the only one left on the first floor in the systematic silence.<p>

In the next hour that would roll by, he had made four more pots of coffee-

But had only drunken one cup.

His vision had been alternating between Akihiko's eyelids and the big hand on the clock in the hallway.

As Shinjiro watched the little hand pass the 'five' he stood up to make another new pot.

"For someone who complains they can't ever get to sleep..."

Shinjiro's heart stopped.

"A person like you'd probably be better off without coffee in the dorm."

In the dim, fire coated room; His eyes were open.

They were finally open.

And, to Shinjiro, they were the brightest things in the room.

"…Aki." He exhaled into his name.

He didn't realize it, but within seconds he was on his knees and at the couch with his hand smushed against Akihiko's forehead.

"Your fever is down—at the very least—means- must be- getting out of your system –" He spoke just under his breath, trying not to let himself waver too much.

Akihiko saw the immense worry that coated his brother's face. He reflexively moved his hand to push it off of himself, but instead kept it there, feeling the warmth radiate from his shaking palm.

"Tell me…. what happened?" Akihiko kept his tone above a whisper, unknowing just how alone the two of them were.

Shinjiro's taught silence that followed was enough of an answer to know a burden had been placed over his chest.

A large one.

He could feel his hand starting to want to pull away from his forehead; Akihiko weakly put his other hand to the top of Shinjiro's covered head.

"Start anywhere, really." He sighed. "All I remember myself is that everything hurt, and then nothing hurt at all." His eyes bounced back off the fabric of his hat. "…Wouldn't be too much asking to know the inbetween details—or, would it?" He carefully left his words hanging, hoping to at least be met with Shinjiro's eyes.

They do more talking than his mouth would, anyhow.

A couple more minutes passed as the silence rolled past the dorm windows.

Akihiko had long since allowed Shinjiro to take his hand back, but kept his palm lightly resting on his shoulder. Seeing Shinjiro's crushed silhouette beside him continued to absolve the confidence he had in asking what had happened.

Still, he kept his grip as it were.

He felt a small shuffling of his figure and heard him swallow harshly.

"Does it…. hurt anywhere now?"

Akihiko had to think about it for a second.

"Kind of." He answered honestly, moving his other hand to his temples. "It sort of feels like something is sitting on top of my head." He rubbed gently. "Like a door being closed even though my hand is still in it." A sigh left his lips. "It's faint, but I can feel it."

Shinjiro's silence once again confirmed his affirmation, for all he figured, as Akihiko saw his figure remaining the same.

"Shinji…"

His neck only craned deeper.

"Shinji—I'm okay, see?" His voice was just barely a whisper.

He tried to get him to lift his head.

"I'm okay!..." He whispered again.

Shinjiro remained bolted to the ground.

"Look, I-I have all ten fingers!" He quietly showed them all off with a waterfall motion, effectively cracking each knuckle. "And if I could feel my legs or feet, I'm sure I could show you both my legs, _and_ all ten of my toes."

Shinjiro was almost sunken into the floor.

It stung because Akihiko hadn't seen him that way in a long time.

But he knew it would be hard for him to come back from it.

Finally, succumbing to the exhaustion he felt after just waking up; he decided on an ultimatum.

"…If you aren't gonna tell me—would you at least help me upstairs…?"Akihiko tried his best to sit up against the back of the couch, waiting for Shinjiro's decision.

He meekly stood up from where he was crouched and offered him a limp shoulder.

Akihiko grabbed at his jacket, clinging desperately to anything his hands would let him hold. Shinjiro instantly found the strength to support him and stood him up as straight as his shoulders would allow.

Akihiko still couldn't see his eyes, or his soul.

He was confused, and hurt, but his heart ached to know what had crushed Shinjiro's so quickly.

"Ready?" Shinjiro breathed, taking a step forward.

Akihiko gave a noncommittal nod as he walked in unison with his feet.

* * *

><p>Akihiko felt himself being placed on his bed, but despite the comfort it normally brought, it felt like a stone tablet.<p>

The walk upstairs had been one of the most painful things he had to endure-

And that wasn't just because he couldn't feel his lower body.

He mostly kept his eyes off of Shinjiro as the lights were turned on, but even though it was poorly lit, he could still see each dark circle that coated his eyes.

"Anything hurt?" Shinjiro stepped back from the bed to make sure all of his body parts were still intact and that he had survived the grueling, and silent, climb up the stairs.

Akihiko watched his body language and sensed his rising urge to make a quick escape from the room despite that fact, and felt his brows furrow at the thought.

Shinjiro saw his face contort unexpectedly.

"Yes, actually." His voice was hoarse but firm.

That surprised him even more.

"What—Why didn't you say so sooner—what's wrong-?"

Without any warning other than the small groan of pain from Akihiko managing to move again, his hands were digging into Shinjiro's collar at his bedside with a weak pull.

"THIS."

Shinjiro blinked, half amazed that Akihiko had the strength to grab him, and half shocked at the sudden confrontation.

"_THIS_."

"T-This, what?" Shinjiro repeated, searching his grey pupils for an answer.

"THIS, _HURTS." _Akihiko snapped, clarifying.

"Then let go,_ idiot_!"

Akihiko felt his bottom teeth gnash against the top of his jaw.

"THIS, FUCKING, _HURTS_, _SHINJI_." Akihiko shoved him away and fell back onto the bed, his feet having given up on supporting him-

Shinjiro caught himself on his left foot and brushed his shirt off- eyes meeting with Akihiko's downcast ones.

"Aki, I don't…"

"How?!" Akihiko writhed from where he sat. "How could you look me in the eyes and tell me that nothing happened!?" He pressed his hands into the bed. "Are you really going to pretend it didn't?! Do you even care?!"

Akihiko purposely struck a nerve.

"Tell you -W-What are you talking about?!" Shinjiro seethed from where he stood. "I didn't—"

"THAT'S EXACTLY MY POINT, SHINJIRO—YOU _DIDN'T_ LOOK ME IN THE EYES—NOT_ ONCE_. AND NOT _ONCE _DID YOU _EVER _TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED."

"I _STARED_ _DAGGERS_ AT YOUR _UNMOVING BODY_ FOR THE ENTIRERETY OF THE NIGHT—" Shinjiro snarled, feeling his hands beginning to shake again. "I LOOKED AT YOU FOR—"

"WHY, THEN?! TELL ME WHY YOU WERE DOING THAT." Akihiko slammed a fist to the wall, albeit wincing at the pain.

Shinjiro doubled over in built-up agony, throwing his hands to his sides.

"BECAUSE I DO CARE, AKI, I FUCKING _DO_ CARE—" He shot up. "—IN FACT I CARE SO FUCKING MUCH THAT I ALMOST-"

The lump that took over his throat again had signaled to Shinjiro to stop.

Akihiko's eyes welcomed him to continue.

"I…"

He swallowed.

"WHY?! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT!? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS INSIST ON RUNNING OFF BY YOURSELF—BITING OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW—STARING DEATH IN THE FACE AND TRYING TO SHOVE A FIST THROUGH IT WHEN YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T, AKIHIKO, YOU _JUST CAN'T_."

Shinjiro felt himself shaking harder; trying to stop his own words from pouring out.

"HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT, HAH?" His hands fanned out at his sides. "LOOKING AT YOUR UNMOVING FACE OVER AND OVER AGAIN BECAUSE I WAS TOO STUPID TO WARN YOU AGAIN, AND YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO LISTEN."

His eyes were burning as he let the tears that threatened to escape earlier, fall to the wood floor.

"STOP RUNNING AHEAD OF ME—"

"STOP TRYING TO WIN BY YOURSELF—

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I CAME BACK FOR?!-"

"IT WASN'T JUST BECAUSE—"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, AKI?!" His shoulders began to quiver. "J-Just w-what the hell do you think—"

Shinjiro's mind froze. Nothing else mattered.

Not fighting.

Not leaving.

It all had to stop.

"I-I just—" Shinjiro finally fell forward, embracing his brother's shoulders at his bedside as he finally let out his entire night's worth of choked back tears into the cotton of his shirt.

Akihiko listened to every syllable of every sob.

"Y' m'st have…..b'en…." Shinjiro tried to speak in between his gasps for air. "So…Sc-Sc'red."

Akihiko inwardly nodded to himself.

His hands curled around Shinjiro's back as he let him empty himself completely.

"I was…" Akihiko whispered, pushing some of Shinjiro's hair back though his face remained buried in his neck. Akihiko's hands continued to slowly move across the folds of his shirt.

"But what even scarier…" He swallowed. "Is being deceived…"

The silenced pierced through the two for a brief moment before Akihiko let his sigh out first.

"Alright, I get it. You love me, idiot." His face reflected a twisted smile as he felt Shinjiro's panicked muscles trying to register his own emotion. "But if you really did, you'd stop being so afraid to tell me the truth; whatever the truth was."

Shinjiro's face had gone blank again as he pushed himself out of Akihiko's grip. Surprisingly enough, Akihiko continued talking.

"In that moment-Your voice is the only thing I can remember keeping me grounded." Akihiko outwardly cringed at the memory despite the words. "I know you know what happened—And… I think I'm starting to figure it out, too."

"…W-What do you—" Shinjiro cut himself off with a loud sniff.

"It wasn't a revival bead, was it." Akihiko mused as he watched Shinjiro furiously dirty his black sleeves against his face. "Was it?"

Shinjiro's heart had long since dropped.

"It was one of _your _pills—your suppressants."

That's when his face went completely white again.

"A-Aki, I—"

"Shinji—that _thing_…" Akihiko's eyes were painfully narrow. "If…that was just, _one_ of the things you felt when you take just _one fucking dose _of it—I can't imagine how you'd feel…every day…"

Shinjiro remained unmoving on his heels.

"With, _or_ without it."

_What am I supposed to say to that…_

_"Well, yeah, Aki!"_

_"But if I don't take it, I die!"_

_What the hell am I supposed to say…._

"And… your persona—" Akihiko continued with salt in his throat. "It isn't like mine." His tone was bitter. "I mean, when all is said and done; he's powerful, but…Yours is… _fighting you_."

Shinjiro swallowed more air.

Until he finally heard him say it.

"Shinji, I'm—"

_Don't you dare—_

"I'm so sorry."

That struck the wrong nerve.

Akihiko figured that much out when he felt at least two of his teeth loosen in his mouth.

Shinjiro's knuckles felt even worse than they did a moment ago.

"Don't you _DARE, _Aki, don't you _DARE _say that to me." Shinjiro gasped, feeling the sweat pooling between his fingers.

"Sh—" Akihiko rubbed at his jaw, cracking it back into place. "Shinji—"

"How could you say that, huh?!" Shinjiro felt weaker as his eyes burned behind their sockets. "How could you try and apologize to me—" He threw a hand to his chest. "Do you have any idea what that does to me?!—"

"And do YOU have any idea what it does to ME?" Akihiko immediately retorted.

"…What?" Shinjiro swatted a tear from his eye.

"Shinjiro—I had…" Akihiko paused, looking at his own two hands. "I had no fucking idea…"

It was Shinjiro's turn to be speechless, yet he found himself full of words.

"What the hell are you going on about-you knew damn' well what these things—"

"I told myself that I knew a lot of things, Shinji."

Shinjiro saw it.

He saw something he had never before seen scorching back at him from Akihiko's face.

"I told myself I knew a lot of fucking things." Akihiko's fists tightened loudly. "About the pills….About you."

The lights weren't the only things that had dimmed the room.

Akihiko took a sharp breath in and stood up from the bed. He saw the look of concern flash across Shinjiro's face but he ignored it and continued.

"Oh, Shinji's just going to bed early because he's obviously just tired, just tired, that's all—"

"Mm, yeah, Shinji's wearing three shirts today but its seventy two degrees outside-"

"That's just Shinji, dry heaving up his intestinal organs at two o'clock in the morning-

"Oh Shinji's fine, he's fine- he's taking MEDICINE."

Shinjiro watched as water cascaded down Akihiko's reddened cheeks, managing to avoid his gaze.

"I told myself a lot of things." Akihiko repeated.

"And not once did I ever consider I could lose you that quickly."

Shinjiro cringed at his throbbing knuckles and felt a tinge of regret for punching Akihiko so hard, but as he looked back at his now shaking form, he understood.

"Don't push yourself, Aki." Shinjiro swallowed. "You're getting so worked up after—" He paused. "Well…I'm… sorry, too."

"You're in no position to apologize." Akihiko thrust a hand in front of his eyes and rubbed at them reverently. "Shut up." He added with a scowl, sitting back down on his bed.

"Seriously? You just told _me_ to shut up—Do you seriously want to be punched again?" Shinjiro took a step forward as he watched Akihiko fall over in wordless defeat.

"Maybe." He sighed, an arm fell over his eyes. "Just do it tomorrow." He sighed again. "If you do it again, I won't even see tomorrow because I can guarantee that youll've punched me into next week."

Shinjiro saw Akihiko smile weakly and that was enough to calm his nerves a bit. He sat down beside his legs and pressed his hands into the mattress, groaning.

When all was said and done, he _ached._

Akihiko scooted over just enough for Shinjiro to be able to lie back.

Shinjiro threw an exhausted look to Akihiko as he sunk into the mattress.

"How do you feel?" He breathed.

"Like my persona has been suppressed." Akihiko snorted. "How do _you _feel?"

"Like… my persona has been suppressed, but, fuck, what else is new." Shinjiro met Akihiko's glare as he lifted his arm from his eyes.

They both laughed.

For an entire minute, they laughed.

And neither one of them could explain why.

Their muscles ached, their heads throbbed, and the sensation of having their eyes scraped out with a knife was the one of the most familiar feelings they shared together.

But Akihiko would tell everyone that while waking up an entire day later with his brother's arms curled around his numb legs, he still managed to get the most comfortable sleep he had in months.

And Shinjiro, having fallen asleep entangled in them, would naturally deny it.

* * *

><p>It was an accident.<p>

But that's why they call it an accident.


End file.
